I've been tagged...
Danica tagged me... I hope I do this right.
I'm the kind of girl who is obsessed with "Friends".
I'm the kind of girl who is very sensitive.
I'm the kind of girl who likes to be massaged and pampered.
I'm the kind of girl who LOVES to cuddle.
I'm the kind of girl who is dying to find "the one".
I'm the kind of girl who makes a good girlfriend.
I'm the kind of girl who is dying to see Italy.
I'm the kind of girl who loves beer and hot wings.
I'm the kind of girl who had dreams of making a living writing.
I'm the kind of girl who wants to be somebody someday.
I'm the kind of girl who is raising a great son.
I'm the kind of girl who will struggle her whole life with her weight.
I'm the kind of girl who will struggle and win.
Is this all I had to do?
Thanks Guys...
So I read Melissa's blog... And as usual she is right, as well as all of you, Thanks Tressa, Emily, Jamie, Sheryl,and Melissa. I have been completely off track, with total loss of discipline. Up to and including just 10 minutes ago when I ate pizza for breakfast. So yes, tomorrow is a new day. I will work out today however because that is the only thing keeping me from being 1000 pounds -(but at the same time giving me man thighs). I need to get under 200. This is a must. I need to lose a lot more, but being under 200 will be a big deal for me. If I can just get myself there, I'd have so much more motivation. I am thinking of canceling my auto shipments, but I fear if I do.... Ill be all done. So never mind, I am not going to. When I can prove I can be disciplined I will do that. One thing at a time. I feel like such a slacker... Your a slacker McFly... A slacker, Oh well. Really guys, thanks for all of your support. I'll get back there.
Shit!!! Son of a motherless.... WTF
Screw me man!!!! I am back up to 206. I don't even want to talk about it. I hate myself right now.
So.... I am LAZY huh??? :)
I was just eating my NS bran cereal in my kitchen thinking... yanno what is wrong with me? I was doing so well. What changed? Am I bored? Why in over one months time have I only lost 2 pounds. Why am I becoming the rationalization queen? Anyway, while I am asking myself these questions walking up the stairs to come post a blog and ask for help, Melissa had already posted a comment... She must have known my struggles(he he she called me lazy). A great reason I should have perhaps done this sooner. Avoidance seems so much easier at times. I didn't want to loose my fire so soon, but I did.... I fizzled, my motivation was suffocated. I don't know if it was the stress of the move... The stress of the death of a good friend... The stress of Tim breaking up with me... I am sure all combined through me for a loop. It all makes my goals seem less important in that moment, but at the same time more important. How easy is it to do something when you are already happy?
Tim was supporting me because he knew how bad I love clothes, and how miserable my weight makes me. He encouraged me a great deal, but in a very non pressured way. It made me excited for the next time I'd see him for him to notice my progress. Now he is gone... And I give up on myself that easily? Where is my self-reliance? Ralph Waldo Emerson would be so disappointed.
My friend Darryl passed away, He had one of those battles in life his body did not win. He was highly intelligent, and emotional, and I always wanted to see him succeed. I can only trust God knows what he is doing. I can only trust that Darryl is just fine now. He was so sweet to tell me that my face wasn't fat... He knew what my heart needed - why can't I keep my body and mind on track?
Anyway, It is true. I am off track. Some meals doing fine, some meals blowing it completely. Sometimes I am falling into my same old habits....The most common one grazing - trying to fill some empty feeling in my heart with food, even though the actual tummy is not empty. My most important statement is this... I do not want to stop!! I want to get my momentum back. I need to find it with in myself, or find it here while I am in the process of finding it with in my self...
Well... This was me trying to be accountable for my absence. Today i will do my best to be 100% on this diet. Thanks for reading. -Mandy
Compare and Contrast
Here ya go Melissa :)
the pics... This was not an easy task, it took me a few hours to figure out how to do this. Low and behold the finished product. I don't remember the exact weight of fat picture #1 its somewhere around 220.0 Fat picture #2 is at 205.0 I believe. It's been 3 weeks since I took it, actually a little longer. As you can see I was sporting the same duds for accuracy, well the t-shirt anyway, pair of jeans #1 no longer fit by pic #2. Lets hope I keep shrinking... also keep in mind my 4ft 10in stature. Fat can really bulk one up huh?
*PANTING!!!* I'm Here....
Ok Ok Ok.... Sorry bout that... I am not aloud to use the PC at work for this kinda stuff, and I had some connection issues going on with my networking equipment. I was down and out for a few, but I should be back. Had to spend like 150.00 on new modem/router/adapter stuff. I weighed myself last Wednesday and I was 203.3 so...... As you can see I didn't reach my March mini goal... This moving crap, along with having to reorganize my life and get used to different routines is for the birds. I am finally getting used to it, and I have hardly been perfect on my diet since I got here. I seem ok during the week, but as soon as Friday hits I feel like "screw it gimme a beer and a burger" anyone else feel like that???? Well off to bring my favorite boy to school..... See ya'll soon :) thanks for caring (Melissa and Danica). I have to v=catch up on you guys too!!! -Mandy
Say Cheese....
So.... I allowed my Mom to take some "23 pound lighter" pics. I surprisingly see a difference, however I'd like it to be a greater difference because I am Impatient Mandy, nice to meet you. I was going to post that comparison side by side thingy like Bob did.... However, if you have been keeping up with me you will know that I am moving. I packed a box today labeled "computer desk stuff" and guess what is in that box? Yep, the cord that connects my digital cam to my PC... I am moving this coming sat. the 11th. I guess we will have to wait until I am settled in to post... Hey maybe ill be even lighter by then. I hope everyone is doing well...
